The Problem With CheckUps
by Candide Avedo
Summary: Ryou figures Bakura may be sick, and taking him to the doctor's for a check-up may be a good idea. Perhaps he should reconsider?


Bakura's Check-Up

Author's Note: Hello, and it's me, trying another uh, 'fic'. This was supposed to be up a _long_ time ago, long meaning, um, at least a year? I hope this is at least a bit funny, I just don't want to sound like I'm trying too hard. LOL. I don't expect reviews, but I'm going to appreciate it all the same. Who knows, maybe I'll be compelled to make more! I'm just dedicating this to **Tears of a Mermaid**, yah, this is for u! Hope that you like it!

Disclaimer: I, Candide Avedo do not own anything that has to do with YuGiOh.

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The Problem With Check-Ups

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"Bakura, quit playing with the fish."

A disgruntled looking Bakura glared at him. "Why should I? I really don't see the point of keeping fish in a place like this." he tapped the hundred gallon fish tank again, and the goldfish scattered, from the place where his finger made contact with glass. "I also don't see the point of going to this p-p-pl-ACHOO!"

Ryou sighed, putting down a National Geographic that he was reading, glancing around at the deserted waiting room of their local doctor. A secretary sat on a desk, typing rapidly on her computer. ( A/N Gee, just like what I'm doing! LOL )

"Bakura, like I said before, you are in need of a check-up. I knew you shouldn't have gone walking in the rain, but you're so stub-" he stopped, as he earned another glare of death from his Yami.

"As I also said, Ryou," he said, emphasizing on his name. "I am Bakura, king of thieves, and an immortal at that. Nothing can get to me, and I mean NOTHING. Besides, I choose to be ill that day."

Ryou rolled his eyes. "Of course, Bakura, who could forget that you can also control your health-Stop playing with those!" he almost yelled, as Bakura stuck his face closer to get a better look, and squishing his nose.

"Stop playing with what?" Bakura replied casually.

"Bakura, that's disgusting, stop playing with them!" said Ryou in despair, taking a glance to see if the doctor's secretary was looking. She wasn't looking, but rather staring avidly at the desk, as though determined not to see anything conspicuous.

"They're going to be traumatized, don't hit them!"

"Hey, is it my fault that they only have a memory span of three seconds?" he asked, with feined innocence. "Fish aren't supposed to be smart, Ryou, so I think they should just accept their fate. The should be happy that they have people who like them, unlike those evil cockroaches...A-A-CHOO!"

Ryou was about to say something else when the secretary rose, smiling widely, looking utterly relieved that Bakura and finally released his attention on the fish.

"Well, the doctor's ready to see you, Mr.-"

"Bakura." said Bakura, getting up, but not before giving the fish their last scare. Ryou made to follow, but the secretary held up her hand, and shook her head.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but you can only wait in the waiting room, sir, only children can be accompanied by an adult." she said, cheerfully.

"But he is like a child, it's his first check-u-"Ryou began, only to be cut off by Bakura.

"No, no, he says that it's my first time going to this particular place." said Bakura smoothly, turning to glare at his Aibou. "RIGHT, RYOU?" he said, through gritted teeth.

"Uh, su-sure, Bakura, whatever you say." Ryou stuttering from the tone of his voice. "Good luck." he bade, as Bakura followed the secretary into the doctor's office. "May Ra be with you." he whispered.

Bakura waited patiently-or, what he thought was patient, which was pacing in the room. Once in a while he would look up at the various diagrams of the human body, and on the table, where many models of the skull, the heart, and even a knee were set.

'This place is like a butcher store. All these-whatever these things are, they're all disgusting and so-so real...I'm liking this.' he thought, raising his eyebrows. 'Someone in this time who shares my interests.' He turned around just in time to see the doctor open the door, fully dressed in his white uniform. 'What in the world is he wearing? So much for sharing my interest. He's just like that doctor form the battle city tournament. That's the problem with this time and this society. All stereotypes, and no variety. I mean, all this 'for the good of the world' mumbo jumbo. I was visionary.'

"Hello, you must be Mr. Bakura, am I right?" asked the man, smiling at him, holding a pad of paper. "Ready for your check-up?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." said Bakura, crossing his arms.

"Right," said the doctor, placing his stethoscope around his neck. "If you would so kind as to sit on the that bed over there, and take off your shirt?

"Fine, let's just get this over with-My Shirt?" JJ Bakura froze. 'Is this a prank or something? Why the hell would he want my shirt?' he thought. "Um, take off my shirt?"

The doctor, who was waiting by the bed smiled. "Yup, it helps me listen to your heart better."

'The hell is this guy talking about? I don't have a freakin-'

"Mr. Bakura, time's a wasting..." called the doctor.

"Alright, alright, just make it is what ever you're going to do quick..."

Bakura sat on the bed, took off his shirt, leaving it on the chair beside him.

The doctor then came close, holding out his stethoscope.

'What in Ra's name is he doing with that?OO He's really too close for comfort...And he's still smiling! Like a clown...Never liked clowns. Those things that dress up in horrendously colourful outfits, enjoy acting like idiots...They get paid for it too. In our time, they waste no time killing those kinds of people off.'

"Ech! That's cold!" shouted Bakura suddenly, jumping from the contact of the device on his chest.

The doctor nodded. "It happens. Now. Hmm, that's funny. I don't hear a beat..." the doctor moved the stethoscope over Bakura's chest in circles, looking confused. "No, not here."

'Ha, stupid mortal looks confused. His little mind doesn't even know he's giving a check up to a living dead. The fool.' thought Bakura, amusedly. "A problem, doctor?"

"No, no, not at all, Mr. Bakura, my stethoscope might be a little broken, though." the doctor took his stethoscope and gave it a hard tap on the desk, and tried again.

Bakura snickered to himself.

"Not to worry, Mr. Bakura, this'll be over soon-I know, perhaps checking your blood pressure could work." he grabbed a device from the shelf.

Bakura stared. "Doctor, um, what in Ra's name is THAT?" he asked, pointing at it with a shaky finger.

The doctor smiled st him brightly. "Oh, this? This is just something to check your blood pressure with. It's doesn't hurt, honest."

Bakura raised his eyebrows. If he learned anything, it was to never trust a honest man.

"If you could just hold out your arm..."

Bakura obliged, holding out his left arm, and the doctor slipped in some black material around his arm, which was sealed with velcro, and slipped in the stethoscope.

"Great, now will you please relax. It's important, cause we'll want it to be accurate, won't we?" he chuckled, putting the earpiece of the stethoscope.

Bakura, who had been tugging at the black strip of fabric that was wrapped around his biceps reluctantly relaxed. Or, at least tried.

Then, to his horror, the fabric, had begun to inflate, squeezing his arm slowly.

"What are you doing?" snapped Bakura, his eyes widening. He watched to doctor, who was using a pump to pump the air in. "Y-Y-you sadistic b-bas-"

"Calm down please, Mr. Bakura, it's alright, nothing to worry about." the doctor frowned again. Funny, there was no pulse to be heard. He pumped in more air.

Bakura twitched. "Ouch, what kind of a doctor are you? My arm's numb! If I have to amputate my arm after this, I am suing! Got it-A-A-CHOO!"

"Please, Mr. Bakura, if you keep on moving like this, we'll have to start again, and you don't want that now, do you?" the doctor gave a friendly smile, flashing his teeth at the naive Bakura.

'That guy's extreme! Th-there's no way that he can be just as sadistic as I-No one, NO ONE, is as sadistic as I AM.' Bakura watched wide-eyed at the black material as it was cutting off his circulation even more, like a black python, determined to take it's prey.

Slowly, his vision began to blur, as though his eyes were slowly beginning to drown in darkness.

Oh, his cruel fate!

This can't be! No one, nothing can destroy him, he was invincible! The great Tomb Robber!

He felt himself go slack as his vision failed him, and he felt the ground meet him painfully, sending him to unconsiousness.

But Bakura didn't care. At least he wouldn't feel himself slowly die by the creature that the so-called 'doctor' was handling.

-

"B-Bakura, are you okay?" Ryou shook his Yami, hoping to get some sign of life. He didn't want to imagine what kind of horror the doctor put him through, but he couldn't believe it when the doctor said it all happened while he was taking his blood pressure. There was no way that something like that be strong enough to make his Yami like that. Absolutely no way.

Bakura moaned, as his Aibou shook him, and he found himself slowly opening his eyes.

He was alive.

"Ryou, wh-what happened? Why am I still alive?" Bakura croaked out, while Ryou helped him up to his feet from the floor of the doctor's office.

"You, uh, passed out, Bakura. Tell me, what did the doctor do-"

"Where! Where is he!" said Bakura, grabbing onto Ryou, and shaking him roughly.

"Where is _who_, Bakura?" asked Ryou, giving Bakura a thoroughly perplexed look.

"Where is the doctor!"

Ryou chuckled. "The doctor? Bakura, he left us in his office, waiting for you wake up, but he said he wouldn't be able to do any check-up on you today. He said he couldn't find your blood pressure. Gee, imagine that."

Bakura sighed a sigh of relief. "Good, I thought I was a goner. That _thing_ that the doctor hooked me up to...It was horrible. It was cutting out my circulation...I couldn't breathe...I thought I was going to die-What's so funny!"

Ryou clutched at his stomach, struggling to breathe.

"A-HAHAHA-Ah Hehehehe! G-God, Bakura, I-I can't believe you passed out because of a Oscillotonometer!"

Bakura scowled. "I did NOT. That man is NOT aware of MY condition!"

"Right." grinned Ryou. "Come on, Bakura, how about we forget about this, and let's head over to the game shop?" He led the way to the front door, waving cheerfully goodbye to the oblivious secretary.

"How can I forget a thing like _that_?" Bakura muttered under his breath. "That man is sadistic, I tell you. Maybe even more sadistic than _I_ am! But there's no way. No one else is as sadistic as me."

Ryou rolled his eyes. There was no way his Yami could accept defeat. Nope, not in a million years. Hm...Still a long way to go. Until then, he's just going to have to be careful in taking Bakura to other places. They may be lucky that he didn't cause havoc, but who knows what Bakura could do in a other place?

C.A.: Hallo, yes, it's just a little detour, sorry about those who are waiting, but I've been meaning to get this up, and please, drop a review. Just one other thing: Review constructively, please, or, whatever would seem pleasant. Thank you.

Cheers, Candide Avedo


End file.
